Never Say Goodbye
by LoveXOXOLuna
Summary: America is fading away. Instead of calling for help he calls his husband England to talk to him one last time. Usuk and RusCan. Was requested by someone on G plus. One-shot turned multi chapter.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is a fanfic that was requested on G+ so I figured that I might as well publish it on here as well. Hope you enjoy. :3

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Never Say Goodbye

America P.O.V

Year 2116, February 10

I can't believe it. I'm actually fading away...

"So it seems that they have succeeded. Who would have thought that a small group of people could actually destroy a world power like me."

I grab my phone from my pocket and go to my favorite contacts list. There I see a short list of the people I care for most.

The first one is England's but I put him under the name of 'Angelic Beauty 3' so of course he would be the first one I see.

I press call and listen to it ring.

'I hope he picks up. This will probably be the last chance I have to show him how much I love him.'

After the third ring I hear a very sleepy and extremely annoyed Brit.

"Bloody hell America do you know what time it is over here?"

I chuckled. England is always so grouchy in the morning.

"I know, sorry about that babe. I just really miss you and wanted to talk to you. Hope you're not mad."

"Of course I'm not mad. Now what did you want to talk about?"

I walked down the sidewalk towards the ocean where my old beach house was at. It held a special meaning to us. After all it is where I proposed and we had our wedding.

"Well I just arrived at the old beach house and I started remembering our wedding day. I thought we could reminisce a little bit while I'm here."

I heard England give a soft musical chuckle. "You always did like to reminisce even though you always tried to hide it."

I unlock the door and quietly walk in. I look around to see that the place is dusty since we only use it during the summer months.

"Yeah, hard to believe that it was so long ago."

"You know you really have matured since then. You even aged a little bit."

I can tell that he's smiling fondly just by his voice.

I suddenly start to feel tingly. I hold up my hand to see that it's starting to become transparent.

'I don't have much time left. Should I tell England what's happening? No, I want the last conversation I have with him to be happy and special.'

"Hey England, do you remember our song?" I ask as I walk onto the balcony and smile as the ocean breeze hits me.

"Of course, why wouldn't I?"

"Do you want to sing it together?"

"I don't see why not. I could play the guitar so that we could have some music to go with it." He offered sensing the mood.

"That would be perfect."

I here some shuffling before hearing him begin to play and we begin to sing:

'What you got if you ain't got love The kind that you just want to give away It's okay to open up Go ahead and let the light shine through I know it's hard on a rainy day You wanna shut the world out and just be left alone But don't run out on your faith'

I walk back inside and look at the photos on the wall. Most of them were of me and England.

'Cause sometimes that mountain you've been climbing Is just a grain of sand And what you've been out there searching for forever Is in your hands And when you figure out love is all that matters after all It sure makes everything else seem so small'

I find a pen and paper and begin to write a letter to England so that he knows what happened to me.

'It's so easy to get lost inside A problem that seems so big at the time It's like a river that's so wide it swallows you whole While you're sitting around thinking about what you can't change And worrying about all the wrong things Time's flying by, moving so fast You better make it count 'cause you can't get it back'

As we sing I try to hold back the tears but a few managed to escape and land onto the paper.

'Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing Is just a grain of sand And what you've been out there searching for forever Is in your hands Oh, and when you figure out love is all that matters after all It sure makes everything else seem So small, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah'

I take off my favorite bomber jacket and wedding ring so that they don't disappear along with me. I lay them down on the desk along with the letter.

'Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing Is just a grain of sand And what you've been out there searching for forever Is in your hands And then you figure out love is all that matters after all It sure makes everything else Oh, it sure makes everything else seem So small'

I stand in the middle of the room and take one last look around with a sad smile.

'Yeah, yeah'

I knew that at this point I only had a few seconds before I disappeared.

"I love you England."

"I love you to America."

I smile and hung up before he could say anything else and let my cell phone drop to the floor.

I looked the photo of us on our wedding day. As happy as we could ever be. I touched it fondly as I finally disappeared.

The Letter:

Dear Arthur,

I'm sorry that I didn't tell you what was happening to me. Especially since our 100th year anniversary is just 4 days away. I didn't have the heart to end it like that. Please understand that I wanted the last time I talked to you be special and full of love. I left you my precious bomber jacket along with my wedding ring so that you have something personal to remember me by. I know that you will take good care of them. I also apologize for hanging up on you so abruptly. I didn't want the last thing we said to each other to be goodbye. Because it isn't going to be goodbye for us. It's just a temporary separation. I'll wait for the day that you and I will reunite.

Until then live life to the fullest. Experience life for me. Be there for the people I care about since I can't do it myself. And most importantly know that I'll be watching over you. So if you feel the need to talk to me then go ahead because I'll be listening. I'm afraid that I have to go because I don't have much time. I love you with all my heart and soul. And remember, never say goodbye.

Sincerely Alfred F. Jones

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A/N: So what did you think? This was my first time writing a sad USUK fanfic. Please review and let me know. The song I used is So Small by Carrie Underwood. It's one of my favorites and I felt that it fit this fanfic.

I don't own Hetalia


	2. Chapter 2

I decided to continue this but in diary form with the occasional flashback as England writes his diary entry. This will probably be about 10 chapters.

Thanks to those of you who have read, faved and/or followed. A special thanks to PhoenixTheTimelady and Kadek-is-the-Best for reviewing. It's thanks to these two that I will be continuing this. :3

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February 14, 2116

This is my first entry since America has gone missing. Today is our 100th wedding anniversary. I know it seems strange to get married on Valentine's day but it was the only day that all of our closest friends and family were free.

I'm extremely worried about him. I called Canada and asked if he had heard from him. He said no but would go and see if he could find him. He's heading to America tomorrow. I hope everything is ok. I don't know what I would do without America by my side.

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A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed it. I know that nothing much happens but England hasn't found out about America's passing yet.

PhoenixTheTimelady: Next chapter we will get to see England's reaction. So I hope you look forward to it. :3

Kadek-is-the-Best: Looks like I will be continuing this. Hope you enjoy it. :)

I don't own Hetalia.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hey, here's the next chapter. I hope you guys enjoy.

Thanks to those of you who have read, followed and/or faved. A special thanks to Pastaaddict, PhoenixTheTimelady and Kadek-is-the-Best for reviewing.

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February 15, 2116

I can't believe it. He's gone. The love of my life is gone forever. We don't know why he just suddenly vanished but he did.

When I got that call from Canada I swear that I died inside. It hurts just thinking about it.

~Flashback~

I was staring at the television thinking about America. I was watching the news to see if there was any sign of something bad bad happening in his country.

"Recently some strange activity has been happening in the US government."

I sat on the edge of my seat. Unfortunately I was interrupted by a loud ringing. I got up realizing that it was my house phone.

I walked over to the wall and picked up the phone. The screen turned on to show Canada. He looked like he had been crying. It obviously wasn't a good sign.

"Matthew," I said his human name to shoe that I was serious,"please tell me that you're crying tears of joy."

He shook his head. "I'm sorry Arthur but..."

"But what?"

"A-Alfred he... He's..." Canada was having a hard time speaking through his tears.

"Just spit it out!" I shouted running out of patients.

"He's dead!" He finally shouted.

It was silent accept for Canada's hard breathing.

That couldn't be right. How could Alfred, the personification of the United States, be dead? He was a freaking world power!

"You're lying." I said, it was barely audible.

"What?" Canada asked, clearly not hearing me.

"I said you're lying. Alfred is a world power. There's no way he could be dead! It's impossible for him of all people to die and you should know that!" I shouted.

"It's true, I'm sorry that this happened but I have proof. He left a note addressed to you along with his bomber jacket and wedding ring. There were a few other letters addressed to people that I have to send. But I'm sure that you would rather come here and get it."

I thought about it before nodding my head. "Ok, I'll take a flight tomorrow."

"Call when you get here so I can pick you up. See you tom-"

"Wait! Can you read the letter addressed to me first? Tell me if it's worth reading?"

He nodded. I watched as he opened it and began to read. The letter must have been short because it didn't take him long. But it must have also been very sweet because he was crying.

"I-It's definitely worth it." He said, his voice cracking.

I nodded and hung up. I walked up the stairs and into our- I mean my room. I let myself fall onto my bed.

I suddenly felt so empty. I didn't feel happy, sad, angry or anything in between. Just empty.

Eventually I fell into a dreamless sleep...

~Flashback end~

I hope we figure out how he died soon because I know that I'll never be able to move on until I can put the people that killed America to justice.

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A/N: And that's chapter 3. It might take a while for the next update because I have my other stories to work on. I'll probably work on my zombie fanfic first because its been months since I started it.

Next chapter will explain how England knows that America didn't just die by accident.

Pastaaddict: It made me cry to while I was writing this. T_T

PhoenixTheTimelady: I thought that the diary thing was a good idea but I wasn't sure. I'm glad you like it. :3 Also, what did you think about England's reaction? Was it what you expected?

Kadek-is-the-Best: :3


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Sorry I didn't update for so long. But don't worry about another long wait because I'm working on it. I'll either be working on the next chapter or already finished with it by the time you're reading this. I will be changing the rank to rated T because of the whole revenge thing. So I hope you guys don't mind.

Thanks to those of you who have read, followed and/or faved. A special thanks to Pastaaddict and PhoenixTheTimelady for reviewing.

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February 16, 2116

You know it's really hard to accept a cold truth. Especially when the one you love dies.

Even though I knew he was dead I kept trying to come up with ways to convince myself that Amer- I mean Alfred was alive.

But after reading Alfred's letter I've come to my senses and accepted the entire truth.

~Flashback~

I had arrived in America feeling physically and emotionally drained.

Even though I didn't feel anything I still felt mentally tired and out of place. I didn't question it since I didn't see the point or have the energy for it.

As I walked out of the airport I heard someone call my name. I looked to the right where the voice was coming from. I was surprised to see Matthew and Ivan waiting for me.

"What are you two doing here. I thought I was supposed to meet you at..." I trailed off.

We were supposed to meet at me and Alfred's summer home. I don't even know how they knew when my flight would arrive.

"We were but we thought it would be best to go together. I hate the idea of my brother-in-law going there alone. Especially with all the memories you made with my brother."

"Da, we're family and family sticks together." Ivan agreed.

I nodded and thanked them. I didn't feel like talking much.

It was silent on the way. It wasn't awkward but that didn't mean that the silence wasn't uncomfortable. It was a silence that only those who lost a loved one would understand.

When we got there I looked around and saw nothing out of place. It was dusty but the air was clean. Probably because Alfred had opened a window or went to the balcony.

"I found the letters over there on the desk along with his jacket and ring. His phone on the other hand was cracked and on the floor." Matthew spoke up.

I walked over to the desk feeling emotionless. The only letter that was left was the one addressed to me. Matthew must have sent the rest to their designated owners.

I picked it up and began to read.

"I looked at his phone records and the last person he called was you Arthur. Actually you were the only one he called." Ivan said as I read the letter.

This along with the information Ivan gave me made the tears begin to form. Before I knew it I was on the floor crying my eyes out. Alfred's death hitting me at full force.

I felt two pairs of arms wrap around me in a comforting embrace. It was nothing like Alfred's but affective all the same.

I let it out. Not all of it but just enough to feel again. I felt angry, sad, hurt and confused. But what I felt the most was loneliness.

Alfred was gone and he wasn't ever going to come back. I wouldn't feel his strong arms around me whenever I needed comfort or when I wanted to cuddle. I wouldn't be able to smell his comforting scent of freshly sawed wood and coffee. Hear his gentle voice that he would only use to comfort those he cared for. And most importantly I wouldn't be able to look into his sky blue eyes full of life and wonder and say 'I love you'.

I would never be able to do any of those things ever again.

Or at least until I die...

~Flashback end~

One day I will see him again but in the mean time I will get my revenge. I know someone made him disappear. A world power doesn't just suddenly die without the other countries knowing it. It takes years for a world power like Alfred to be taken down and there are many signs that come with it.

When I find who did it they will regret it. Oh yes they will definitely regret it.

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A/N: I hope it wasn't to bad. I also hope you guys don't mind some RusCan in this. Let me know what you think.

Pastaaddict: England is definitely going to get revenge if he stays in his current state of mind.

PhoenixTheTimelady: Sorry it took so long! I know you were really looking forward to this chapter. I hope it lived up to your expectations.


	5. Chapter 5

February 17, 2116

Today was the first day waking up without Alfred by my side. And let me tell you it was a really painful experience.

~Flashback~

After I finished crying Matthew sent me to bed. I didn't argue and did as I was told.

I had fallen asleep almost instantly.

Of course I had to have a wonderful dream about my love. I know it seems like a good thing but really it isn't.

We were sitting under the big tree in my backyard which was also my heart.

We were going to spend the day celebrating Peter's birthday. But before that we decided to sit in the backyard and relax. The boy was currently sleeping with his head in my lap.

"So Artie what do you want to do for our fifty year anniversary?" Alfred asked nuzzling his hair.

"Hmm how about we do what you want to do."

"Sorry but we can't do that. It's your turn to decide what we do this year."

"Then I want you to make what we're doing a surprise." I challenged.

Alfred chuckled at that. "Alright, I'll think of something. But first we need to celebrate a certain micro nation's birthday." Alfred said leaning over and tickled Peter.

Peter began to laugh startling me.

"You've been awake this whole time?" I asked.

"No, I woke up a little while ago but I felt so comfortable that I stayed still. Now let's go. I want to go to the amusement park and get sick on sweets!" Peter shouted as he ran into the house.

Alfred picked me up bridal style and I gave out (an embarrassing) squeak. I wrapped my arms around him a began to laugh in delight.

I woke up with a smile on my face. I reached over what was usually Alfred's side of the bed only to find it empty.

I sat up and looked around in confusion only to realize right after that it was just a dream and Alfred was dead.

I felt the tears fall but I didn't do anything to stop them. I laid back down and let them fall.

A few hours later I smelt food.

After a while I heard a knock on my door but I didn't bother to answer. Instead I turned away from the door and pretend to be asleep.

I the heard the door open.

"Arthur?"

I didn't answer and instead slowed my breathing and even mumbled Alfred's name to make it more realistic.

"I know you're awake..."

I still didn't move.

"I'll just leave a plate of food on your desk. It's French toast and scrambled eggs. I hope you like it."

I heard him put the plate down and then close the door.

Throughout the day Matthew or Ivan would check up on me and every time I pretended to be asleep.

We all knew that I was awake but the other two knew that it was best not to bother me.

I guess they were giving me time to grieve.

~Flashback end~

Why does it hurt so much? Why couldn't he live? And why him? What did he do to deserve this?

I just want the pain to go away...


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Here's the next chapter. I wrote it while taking a break from studying the Nevada drivers handbook.

Also I wanted to let you guys know that I'm trying to write this from personal experience. My father passed away when I was twelve which was over seven years ago. So I'm trying to write how I remember how I felt about my father's death.

Anyway enough about my life lets get onto the chapter. :)

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February 27, 2116

Its been a week since I started to stay in bed and I was planning on doing the same thing today.

That was until we got a call from a few government agents...

~Flashback~

"Arthur you need to eat. You barely ate anything Mattie made you. It's not healthy."

It was another dull and sad morning for me. Ivan was currently trying to get me to eat.

"Please Arthur we're worried about your health."

I didn't move. What was the point in eating when my wonderful American wasn't alive anymore?

Ivan was about to say something but was interrupted by Matthew running in and sliding right into him.

Luckily for the poor boy Ivan was able to catch him before he fell.

"Be careful Mattie."

"Sorry, it's just that I get an important message from the US government. They know who did it."

I shot up instantly and grabbed him by his shoulders.

"They did?! Who did it?"

Matthew didn't seem to be fazed by my actions. Actually he looked like he expected it.

"I'm not sure if I should tell you. You may not like it." Matthew said slowly and carefully. Did he think I would attack him nor something?

"I don't care! Just tell me who it is so that I can (insert punishment here. I'm still trying to keep this as innocent as possible.)"

"Arthur please calm down. I don't want you to hurt yourself. You're one bad place right now."

"I am not! I'm perfectly fine thank you!" I shouted in his face.

I felt Ivan grab me from behind. I started to struggle but he held he by the waist so I couldn't do much damage. However I managed to knock over a chair and break a vase.

I struggled for who knows how long. But eventually I grew tired again and let myself go limp.

I had no energy left but just to make sure I was officially done Ivan kept a hold on for a few more minutes.

"I think we should wait before we tell him." Ivan spoke up after he laid me down.

"I agree, I'm sorry Arthur but until you're in a better state of mind I think you shouldn't know who did it."

"But I have the right to know! I was Alfred's husband! His soul mate! How is it fair that you get to know and I don't?! You're only his stupid brother who he didn't even care about!"

There was a tense silence after that. No one expected for me to say that. Not even me.

Before anyone could say anything I got up and ran to the bathroom. I looked the door and slid to the floor. I began to cry once more. Some of it in sadness but mostly in shame.

How could I be so horrible to Matthew. He was Alfred's little brother! I'm such a horrible person...

Not long after there was a knock on the door.

"Arthur it's me, Matthew."

I didn't answer.

"Look, I know that you didn't mean it. I understand what you're going through and I'm as angry as you are. But you can't let it take over you."

But I still refused to answer in fear of lashing out on Matthew again. I had already done enough damage. I didn't need to make more.

After a few minutes I heard Matthew leave.

I sighed in relief and lie down. Eventually letting myself drift off to sleep...

~End of flashback~

About an our later I woke up and left the bathroom to write in my diary.

I hope Matthew and Ivan tell me who did it soon. If they don't I think I will go insane.

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A/N: Ok, so I know that it seems to be a little over dramatic with how England took out his anger on Canada. But you see he is currently going through the five stages of grief.

Right now he is on the second stage which is anger. Before that it was denial. I know that he seemed like he was on the fourth stage which is depression but it's hard to deny the fact that someone you love is actually dead. So as you can probably imagine he was in between bot denial and state if depression.

So most of the time he was trying to come up with a reason why America would suddenly disappear. Which we will learn more about in a future chapter.

Pastaaddict: I hate writing Arthur like this but this is how I imagine he might take it.

Babydoll: Umm ok...


	7. Chapter 7

March 5, 2116

It's been a week since the incident. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so angry at everything and everyone. It's gotten to the point where I lashed out at my own reflection.

I've decided to lock my bedroom door so that no one can get in. I don't want to risk hurting Matthew again. I hope he can forgive my atrocious behavior.

I feel so lonely without Alfred by my side. I hope he's ok wherever he is in the afterlife. Sometimes I feel as if he's right beside me. Like he's there and wants to show it but can't.

I don't know what to think anymore. My mind is a jumbled mess and I don't know how to clean it or even where to start.

It's driving me crazy not knowing who had done it. I asked if they would tell me today but Matthew and Ivan still don't think I'm stable enough.

I think I can handle the bastard that took my world away. I know exactly what I'm going to do to them when I get the chance.

~Matthew~

It breaks my heart to see Arthur like this. I know for a fact that he is close to completely loosing it.

I walk into the kitchen and decide to make Arthur's favorite breakfast.

Scones with Earl Grey tea. Stereotypical I know but we're the personification of countries. We're bound to represent some stereotypes.

I had just finished making the scones when a pair of strong arms wrapped around my waist.

I leaned back into the embrace and sighed tiredly.

"You should rest." Ivan spoke up.

"I can't. With Arthur not able to take care of himself, let alone his country, someone has to do his work for him."

"But what about you? Arthur wouldn't want you to exhaust yourself. And you need time to grieve to."

"I have no choice Ivan. I will have all the time in the world to grieve. But Arthur's country needs me now. Besides, I promised Alfred on their wedding day that if something were to happen to him I would be there for Arthur."

Ivan sighed in defeat. When Matthew made a promise he kept it. That was something Matthew had in common with Alfred.

"I would let Scotland take over but we know that we can't trust him. I should have known he was the one behind it. He never really liked Alfred. Claiming that he wasn't good enough for his baby brother." Matthew grumbled and then huffed.

"He had no right to talk about my brother like that. He bullied Arthur for years and even used him for his own gain when they were young."

Ivan listened to Matthew as the Canadian continued to let out his frustration. Ivan knew that this was his own little way of expressing himself.

After a while Matthew finished making the food and headed to Arthur's room. Ivan decided that they should watch a movie in order to clear Matthew's mind.

He was currently using the old TV America kept and looked through the DVD's. For some reason Alfred loved the 21st century and wanted to preserve it as much as he could.

This was one of the ways he achieved it.

He was suddenly interrupted when Matthew came running in.

"What's wrong? Did something happen to Arthur?" Ivan asked.

Matthew nodded as his eyes began to water.

"Arthur's missing."

A/N: So I felt that I needed to include Matthew and Ivan some more into the story. And that I need it to start progressing. I hope I'm going at a good pace for you guys. I don't want to rush it but I don't want it to go to slow either.

Pastaaddict: I'm glad you didn't think I overdid it with Arthur lashing out. I was worried I overdid it. And now we know who it was.


End file.
